It is Never Too Late!

Dear Dreamer,

When I woke up this morning, I realized I was not dreaming.  My heart is filled with joy and my spirit filled with happiness and laughter. To complete the hard work that is required to become a doctor was very challenging. However, it pales in comparison to my life experiences.

Go to school, get good grades, pass, then your promoted.  On the other hand, go to school, get bad grades, fail, then you will have to do the class all over again. However, life is a little bit different. In life, you live, make good decisions, reap the benefits. On the other hand, when you make bad decisions in life, the consequences may last a lifetime. There are no retakes or make ups once a bad decision is made. However, it is never too late to become conscious of who you really are and make choices that will put you on a healthier path.

The benefits of good decisions are available for anyone to reap. This is my life story and how I chose to make good life decisions and create a legacy that will go on for many generations to come. It is never too late to implement good decision making, change, and grow spiritually! 

Many Blessing 

Dr. Monique Walker

The Truth Is…

I find myself searching for someone that will never be found.  I am looking for someone who is ambitious, happy, stable, loving, kind, a believer and follower of God.  Someone to compliment my rollercoaster life.  Someone to break bread with.  You know, a ride or die.  Someone with focus and goals.  This person has to fit MY ideal image in all of these areas.   This person has to understand all of the intricacies that make me who I am. 

I have searched from coast to coast, looking for my ideal person.  While on the road I found an abuser, a recluse, and an imposter.  While it is easy to give these individuals a title and be judgmental of who they are, the truth is the person with the real issues is me.  The truth is by searching I am going outside of myself to find something that I have made up in my mind to be ideal.  On that note, I am attracting just the opposite of what I am looking for.  Ambitious becomes lazy, happy becomes sad, stable becomes chaotic, loving becomes jealousy, kind becomes selfish, and believer becomes nonbeliever.  How on earth can this person compliment my rollercoaster life much less break bread with me?  Forget about ride or die that becomes run for your life girl.  That is just what I have been doing, running for my life. 

I am now tired of searching, feeling disappointed, disconnected, and running for my life.  I am now forced to face my demons head on.  What I have found is my truth.  The truth is:

• People are not projects that require repair or even someone’s opinion of who they are.
• Either you accept someone for who they are or leave them alone.
• Each person has their own self work to do. Be respectful of their process.

With that said, my search is over.  As I sit here alone with my ideal ideas, I discovered that my ideal person was never lost.  Therefore, my searching was pointless.  As a matter of fact, I have had that person all along.  I have been running and searching everywhere for something that was in plain sight.  She is me and I am her, a woman who is willing to stand in her truth, submitting to personal growth, and spiritual maturity.  I challenge you to stand in your truth.

Three Steps to Forgiveness

As we go through life we face many experiences, some pleasurable and others painful. Pleasurable events help motivate us to continue moving forward.  On the other hand, painful events can create spiritual shock, paralysis, dismay, or anger.  The unpleasant feelings that accompany painful moments can overshadow our lives if we allow them to, leading to depression, anxiety, and even mental illness.  Therefore, it is imperative that we find healthy ways to cope with emotional pain.   There are 3 steps in managing painful experiences effectively: acknowledge, pray, and forgive.

 

ACKNOWLEDGE

Acknowledgement is the beginning stage in every process imaginable to mankind.  For example, if your car has a problem, you must first acknowledge the issue before bringing the car to the mechanic; if you are sick, you must first acknowledge the symptoms in order to seek medical  attention; and if you are in debt, you must first acknowledge that you are ultimately struggling with life balance in order to devise a plan to get out of debt.   Acknowledgement is integral to all that we do, we must first acknowledge a matter before addressing it.  This is the same concept that surrounds the premise of coping with painful experiences.  To effectively address pain, we must first acknowledge that the pain exists.  In acknowledging your pain, you will find that you are ready to move forward to the next step, pray.

 

PRAY

The power of prayer is often underestimated.  I can attest to the fact that prayer is indeed powerful.  As humans, we are not designed to carry emotional baggage and burden.  As a matter of fact, painful experiences are merely growth opportunities.  Think about it, when a child or teenager  grows they complain of joint and bone pains, known as "growing pains"; when a woman becomes  pregnant and the baby grows, the mother experiences pain throughout her body; and when we experience pain on any realm (physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.) the same applies.  In reflecting on the idea that pain equals growth, it is important to recognize that pain accompanied by prayer expedites the growth process.  Prayer serves as anesthesia to pain. Additionally, the heavy baggage that comes along with emotional pain becomes God baggage.  He works through those issues, leaving you only with the memories that can be used to glorify Him.  Pray faithfully and walk your assigned walk and the pain will soon disappear. 

 

FORGIVE                                                                                                                                            

Forgiveness is a positive end product of painful experiences.  Upon arriving at a place of forgiveness, true recognition and personal growth is at its prime.  By forgiving someone for what they have done, you release yourself from emotional prison.  This is the step that allows you to breathe easier and rid yourself of all negativity.  Remember, someone's actions toward you is not a reflection of you.  It is a reflection of the pain that they are harboring inside.  As you move into forgiveness, remember to pray for them as they too are hurting on levels you may never understand.  Forgive and move forward in faith. 

In the very end, forgiving other for your pain makes you healthier overall.  Here are some questions to reflect on:

       1.       Is there someone that is being held hostage related to your pain?  Is that person you?

       2.       How much are you willing to sacrifice to wallow in old painful memories?

       3.       Are you struggling with forgiveness?

       4.       Are you ready to experience life with a renewed view?     

If you would like to discuss finding forgiveness, feel free to contact me for your free 30 minute consultation at 1-855-962-7550.

 

 

A New Way to Overcome Obstacles

 

Life is laden with obstacles, both big and small.  While each person's experiences differ, everyone has their fair share of problems.  Some people face unemployment, while others face marital problems, some face depression, while others face financial distress.  Whatever issues you are facing right now, it is important to remember that each trial is temporary.  While examining your situation, self-honesty should be in the forefront.  This is the best and only way to free yourself from repetitive chaos.  I will share what works for me when I am faced with my own trials.  But first, I will disclose those behaviors that did not work for me in the past:

1. I would rely on my own understanding of life, making up things as I go along to appease my bad decisions. 
2. I would insist that I was right in all of my decisions, despite the mess I had made. 
3. Whenever something went wrong I was never a part of the issue, it was not my fault.

When I held on to that faulty mentality, I noticed that my issues kept getting worse.  Then one day, I arrived at a point of pure frustration, frustration with life and life issues.  I had to make a change, life had to be better than the chaos I was living in.  In response to my frustration, I decided to change the way I look at life.  This is what worked for me:

1. I sought out knowledge through resources such as books and from people who I admired.
2. I changed the way I looked at myself in relation to the rest of the world.
3. I started assuming responsibility for my involvement in my problems.
4. I changed characteristics within me that were faulty and I embraced myself despite my imperfections.

While everyone may experience life differently, we all have obstacles to overcome.  In overcoming these obstacles, try examining your normal response to life difficulties. Then challenge yourself to respond in a different manner.  You will be surprised at the results. 

Here are some questions to reflect on:

1.       Who is responsible for your problems? 

       2.       Are your problems because of someone or something outside of you?

3.       How do you generally view life?

4.       What can you change to resolve the issue?

 

The Elephant in the Room

Let's talk about the elephant in the room.  We are going to discuss the elephant because it is BIG and takes up too much space.  The elephant has managed to squeeze itself in this small room and I suspect that we are not supposed to notice it?  But we do!  The elephant is that thing preventing us from living out our God-given purposes. 

While my elephant is obstructing my view, I can't see yours.  In that respect, I assume that you can't mine.  So I'll stand here, right in front of my elephant, as you walk by and put on a smile, hoping that you don't notice the big elephant standing right behind me.  And I am under the assumption that you are doing the same.  The reality is...there is no more room for our elephants.  We are cluttered, congested, and sick and tired of being the caretaker of such heavy animals.  We cannot carry our elephants around because of its weight.

Now reread the post above and replace the word elephant with your real feelings.  Here are some suggestions: burdens, fears, anger, abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, isolation, emptiness, unhealthy relationship, insecurities, etc.

We try to ignore the elephant in the room because it is painful to acknowledge it.  But pain is the precursor to change, change the precursor to growth, growth the precursor to maturity.  Once we have arrived at maturity we are ready to live in our God-given purposes.  Some things reflect on:

• Am I ready to acknowledge the elephant in the room?
• What can I do to change my elephant into something more desirable?
• Is my elephant a part of my God-given purpose?
• Can I help others by sharing my elephant with them?
• By sharing my elephant with others, can I save someone's life?

We were not designed to carry elephants around.  It is time to let God use your elephant for His purpose. Pray about it!