Ready to Live a Healthy, Happy, Purposeful Life?

There is nothing quite like personal development. By choosing to develop oneself, you are saying, "I assume full responsibility for every aspect of my life." While many may be clothed in an adult body, there is a lack of personal responsibility noted amongst humankind. You may be asking, "What are you talking about Monique?" In its simplest form, too many adults behave like immature children. Quite frankly, it is sad. 

Adults throwing temper tantrums, being irresponsible, using manipulation to gain control, bullying, lying, stealing, cheating...the list goes on. But that is not the reason for this post. Quite frankly, it is one of many catalysts that keeps me focused on leading a happy, healthy, and purposeful life. I would like to share 3 important tips on engaging in personal development that will change your life forever.

Tip #1

Personal development begins and ends with YOU!
This is the most powerful tip in my arsenal. Once you adopt this mindset, the real magic begins. I grew up as a people pleaser, hoping that approval will somehow get me into heaven (I don't know what I was thinking). People pleasing meant that I became prisoner to other people's expectations and limitations. Are you a people pleaser? A good way to figure this out is to look at the profession you chose.

·        Are you a caretaker? 

·        Low paid, unappreciated employee? 

·        Unhappy in your current position but feel stuck for some reason? 

Another way to examine if you are a people pleaser is to look at the type of people you are surrounded by. 

·        Are they needy? 

·        Toxic? 

·        Unappreciative? 

·        Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of? 

If you answered YES to the questions above, then it is quite possible you are a people pleaser. If this is the case, I have both good and bad news for you. The good news is you can take control of your life and make an exchange for a happy, healthy, purposeful life. The bad news is you will lose friends along the way. This is a part of personal development, recognizing what is honorable for you and ridding yourself of those people and behaviors that are dishonorable. The bottom line is…personal development begins and ends with you. You have more authority than you know by assuming responsibility for yourself.

Tip #2

Personal development requires discipline.
Yep, I said the D word. Everyone wants to take the fastest route to success. But most people lack the discipline that is necessary to be successful. As a mother of 8, I recently completed a medical degree. This was the result of discipline. Discipline to drive to and from class on snow covered roads, commuting 2-4 hours each way even when I didn't feel like it. Discipline to turn down invitations to social gatherings even when I really wanted to go. The discipline that was required for me to study, spend countless hours in clinic, and still maintain my personal and professional lives are unheard of.  

·        Do you have discipline? 

·        What goals have you set out to accomplish years ago that is still hanging in the wind? 

·        Are you in need of discipline?

I will share in a later post how to become more discipline. But for now, let this marinate: Personal development requires discipline. 

Tip #3

You have access to everything needed to start your journey right now.
There is a myriad of resources available for you to begin your personal development journey today. There are tons of courses, coaches, books, and other resources available for you to gather useful information and skills. As mentioned earlier, this process begins and ends with you.

For those who are ready to start taking full responsibility for your life, respond 'I'm Ready' below. 

For those already on their personal development journey, what has your journey been like? What have you learned along the way? Share your thoughts and feelings about making the choice to grow and develop below. 

Remember personal development is a process of assuming full responsibility for your life. If you are ready to get more acquainted with yourself and assume full responsibility for every area of your life, then it is time to begin your personal development journey.

If you found this useful, feel free to share it with others. 

Dr. Monique Walker

The Truth Is…

I find myself searching for someone that will never be found.  I am looking for someone who is ambitious, happy, stable, loving, kind, a believer and follower of God.  Someone to compliment my rollercoaster life.  Someone to break bread with.  You know, a ride or die.  Someone with focus and goals.  This person has to fit MY ideal image in all of these areas.   This person has to understand all of the intricacies that make me who I am. 

I have searched from coast to coast, looking for my ideal person.  While on the road I found an abuser, a recluse, and an imposter.  While it is easy to give these individuals a title and be judgmental of who they are, the truth is the person with the real issues is me.  The truth is by searching I am going outside of myself to find something that I have made up in my mind to be ideal.  On that note, I am attracting just the opposite of what I am looking for.  Ambitious becomes lazy, happy becomes sad, stable becomes chaotic, loving becomes jealousy, kind becomes selfish, and believer becomes nonbeliever.  How on earth can this person compliment my rollercoaster life much less break bread with me?  Forget about ride or die that becomes run for your life girl.  That is just what I have been doing, running for my life. 

I am now tired of searching, feeling disappointed, disconnected, and running for my life.  I am now forced to face my demons head on.  What I have found is my truth.  The truth is:

• People are not projects that require repair or even someone’s opinion of who they are.
• Either you accept someone for who they are or leave them alone.
• Each person has their own self work to do. Be respectful of their process.

With that said, my search is over.  As I sit here alone with my ideal ideas, I discovered that my ideal person was never lost.  Therefore, my searching was pointless.  As a matter of fact, I have had that person all along.  I have been running and searching everywhere for something that was in plain sight.  She is me and I am her, a woman who is willing to stand in her truth, submitting to personal growth, and spiritual maturity.  I challenge you to stand in your truth.

Living Takes Courage

When you wake up in the morning, do you have a pep in your step or do you drag yourself out of bed?  Do you look forward to your day or are you bummed out about what lies ahead?  Do you have goals and aspirations that you are actively pursuing or have you placed them all on the back burner?  Where do you see yourself a year from now?  Are you living or merely existing? 

To live is to experience life's every unexpected turn while embracing the love, pain, challenges, joy, sorrow, and all of life's emotions. Being emotionally connected is a good indicator that you are living.  Life can be emotionally toiling yet equally as enjoyable and fulfilling.  It takes great courage to truly live life.  This courage preceded hope.  The hope precedes dreams.  The dreams precede goals.  The goals precede actions.  The action precedes accomplishments.  Accomplishments preceded purpose and fulfillment.  As life goes by, it is important for you to make a conscious decision whether you will live or merely exist.   

If you have become numb to life, consider the following:

1.  There are blessings in everything you do.  The ability to read this blog is a blessing.  Look for the blessings in every situation. 

2.  Life lessons are essential to your growth.  While life lessons can be painful, you are forced to grow in preparation for the next challenge.

3. Life is an adventure.  While you may not know what to expect, you can mentally prepare for the unexpected.  Allow yourself room for fluid thoughts and endless possibilities.  Stay far from rigid thoughts, as they will only restrict you.


  

The Power of Self Reflection

Self reflection is the precursor to personal growth.  It is easy to focus on objects outside of self.  However, taking time to examine oneself is very important.  By embracing your ability to self reflect, you take a winner's position.  Through self refection, you will discover new qualities you possess or even rejuvenate dormant characteristics which may propel your life onto a more fulfilling path.  

Your reality is the sum of your life experiences and your perspective on all matters.  If you're reading this blog you are on the right path to completely identifying and acknowledging the source of your strength.  This is where self reflection falls into place.  It helps strengthen your belief system, identify areas of concern, and promote positive thought processes.

Self reflection combined with positive affirmation is the recipe for a healthy mindset.  The next time you are in a situation, tap into your strength and use self reflection as a guide, add positive affirmations to help reinforce the source of your strength, you.

The following are some suggestions of positive self talk:

1.  I am happy that I tried even though the outcome is different than I expected.
2.  I am proud of my determination.
3.  I am proud of who I am.
4.  I can identify areas for improvement and I have the power to make changes.
5.  I am very powerful, not powerless.
6.  My efforts have a purpose.
7.  I have a purpose.

A New Way to Overcome Obstacles

 

Life is laden with obstacles, both big and small.  While each person's experiences differ, everyone has their fair share of problems.  Some people face unemployment, while others face marital problems, some face depression, while others face financial distress.  Whatever issues you are facing right now, it is important to remember that each trial is temporary.  While examining your situation, self-honesty should be in the forefront.  This is the best and only way to free yourself from repetitive chaos.  I will share what works for me when I am faced with my own trials.  But first, I will disclose those behaviors that did not work for me in the past:

1. I would rely on my own understanding of life, making up things as I go along to appease my bad decisions. 
2. I would insist that I was right in all of my decisions, despite the mess I had made. 
3. Whenever something went wrong I was never a part of the issue, it was not my fault.

When I held on to that faulty mentality, I noticed that my issues kept getting worse.  Then one day, I arrived at a point of pure frustration, frustration with life and life issues.  I had to make a change, life had to be better than the chaos I was living in.  In response to my frustration, I decided to change the way I look at life.  This is what worked for me:

1. I sought out knowledge through resources such as books and from people who I admired.
2. I changed the way I looked at myself in relation to the rest of the world.
3. I started assuming responsibility for my involvement in my problems.
4. I changed characteristics within me that were faulty and I embraced myself despite my imperfections.

While everyone may experience life differently, we all have obstacles to overcome.  In overcoming these obstacles, try examining your normal response to life difficulties. Then challenge yourself to respond in a different manner.  You will be surprised at the results. 

Here are some questions to reflect on:

1.       Who is responsible for your problems? 

       2.       Are your problems because of someone or something outside of you?

3.       How do you generally view life?

4.       What can you change to resolve the issue?