Ready to Live a Healthy, Happy, Purposeful Life?

There is nothing quite like personal development. By choosing to develop oneself, you are saying, "I assume full responsibility for every aspect of my life." While many may be clothed in an adult body, there is a lack of personal responsibility noted amongst humankind. You may be asking, "What are you talking about Monique?" In its simplest form, too many adults behave like immature children. Quite frankly, it is sad. 

Adults throwing temper tantrums, being irresponsible, using manipulation to gain control, bullying, lying, stealing, cheating...the list goes on. But that is not the reason for this post. Quite frankly, it is one of many catalysts that keeps me focused on leading a happy, healthy, and purposeful life. I would like to share 3 important tips on engaging in personal development that will change your life forever.

Tip #1

Personal development begins and ends with YOU!
This is the most powerful tip in my arsenal. Once you adopt this mindset, the real magic begins. I grew up as a people pleaser, hoping that approval will somehow get me into heaven (I don't know what I was thinking). People pleasing meant that I became prisoner to other people's expectations and limitations. Are you a people pleaser? A good way to figure this out is to look at the profession you chose.

·        Are you a caretaker? 

·        Low paid, unappreciated employee? 

·        Unhappy in your current position but feel stuck for some reason? 

Another way to examine if you are a people pleaser is to look at the type of people you are surrounded by. 

·        Are they needy? 

·        Toxic? 

·        Unappreciative? 

·        Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of? 

If you answered YES to the questions above, then it is quite possible you are a people pleaser. If this is the case, I have both good and bad news for you. The good news is you can take control of your life and make an exchange for a happy, healthy, purposeful life. The bad news is you will lose friends along the way. This is a part of personal development, recognizing what is honorable for you and ridding yourself of those people and behaviors that are dishonorable. The bottom line is…personal development begins and ends with you. You have more authority than you know by assuming responsibility for yourself.

Tip #2

Personal development requires discipline.
Yep, I said the D word. Everyone wants to take the fastest route to success. But most people lack the discipline that is necessary to be successful. As a mother of 8, I recently completed a medical degree. This was the result of discipline. Discipline to drive to and from class on snow covered roads, commuting 2-4 hours each way even when I didn't feel like it. Discipline to turn down invitations to social gatherings even when I really wanted to go. The discipline that was required for me to study, spend countless hours in clinic, and still maintain my personal and professional lives are unheard of.  

·        Do you have discipline? 

·        What goals have you set out to accomplish years ago that is still hanging in the wind? 

·        Are you in need of discipline?

I will share in a later post how to become more discipline. But for now, let this marinate: Personal development requires discipline. 

Tip #3

You have access to everything needed to start your journey right now.
There is a myriad of resources available for you to begin your personal development journey today. There are tons of courses, coaches, books, and other resources available for you to gather useful information and skills. As mentioned earlier, this process begins and ends with you.

For those who are ready to start taking full responsibility for your life, respond 'I'm Ready' below. 

For those already on their personal development journey, what has your journey been like? What have you learned along the way? Share your thoughts and feelings about making the choice to grow and develop below. 

Remember personal development is a process of assuming full responsibility for your life. If you are ready to get more acquainted with yourself and assume full responsibility for every area of your life, then it is time to begin your personal development journey.

If you found this useful, feel free to share it with others. 

Dr. Monique Walker

It is Never Too Late!

Dear Dreamer,

When I woke up this morning, I realized I was not dreaming.  My heart is filled with joy and my spirit filled with happiness and laughter. To complete the hard work that is required to become a doctor was very challenging. However, it pales in comparison to my life experiences.

Go to school, get good grades, pass, then your promoted.  On the other hand, go to school, get bad grades, fail, then you will have to do the class all over again. However, life is a little bit different. In life, you live, make good decisions, reap the benefits. On the other hand, when you make bad decisions in life, the consequences may last a lifetime. There are no retakes or make ups once a bad decision is made. However, it is never too late to become conscious of who you really are and make choices that will put you on a healthier path.

The benefits of good decisions are available for anyone to reap. This is my life story and how I chose to make good life decisions and create a legacy that will go on for many generations to come. It is never too late to implement good decision making, change, and grow spiritually! 

Many Blessing 

Dr. Monique Walker

I'M DONE

I have decided today is the day that I am going to sever some lifelong relationships.  This is the type of decision that usually weighs heavy on my heart.  But, this time around, I feel peaceful.  I’m at peace with ending these relationships because I am at a place of being “DONE.” Done with the lies, mediocrity, limitations, deceit, and heavy burdens these relationships have placed on me. 

Have you ever had to leave a situation that no longer serves you, but instead suck the life out of you?  If you have, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. You see, this post is not about being mean or scandalous but instead being transparent; sharing some deep thoughts and feelings that most people would be afraid to share.  But as I said earlier, I AM DONE…I AM DONE…I AM DONE!

Therefore, shame, self-doubt, and fear, consider this your eviction notice.  You have no place in my life.  There is no room for you here anymore.  I am reclaiming the space you once occupied and I am replacing you with honor, security, and courage.  You have crippled me for long enough and I am moving on without you. 

Every time you thought you had me face down, I was simply consulting with my newfound friends.  Honor told me that I am not my past nor my future, I am my present.  There is nothing to be ashamed of.  Goodbye shame!

Security told me that self-doubt is merely a manipulative, dishonest thought pattern buried in my subconscious mind.  For this reason, I have worked hard to dig you out of the crevices of my subconscious and I’m giving you the boot too.

As for fear, you have been with me since I was a little girl.  You were introduced to me by people that I thought I could trust.  For this reason, I held on to you tightly and allowed you to introduce me to your friends, shame and self-doubt. These are the things you would tell me:

• “You will never be…”
• “You are going to fail…”
• “You’ll never make it…”
• “What if…?”

Quite frankly, I am sick and tired of you weighing me down.  As a matter of fact, you get the middle finger and a swift kick in your behind.  I AM THROUGH WITH YOU!

Today is the day I choose to reclaim my life from the shame, self-doubt, and fear I once felt.  I am replacing them with honor, security, and courage.  I will no longer allow self-limiting beliefs guide my life.  Through self-reflection, soul searching, and walking in faith, I have discovered that the real me is self-defined.  Negative belief systems have no home here.  In defining myself, I am an honorable, secure, and courageous woman.  I feel much better now that I have faced those demons head on. I feel relieved!  Today, I am an even better version of me.  Mission Accomplished!

Today is the day you should consider evicting negativity from your life.  Reclaim yourself and move forward in faith, knowing that you are not your past or even your future.  You are who you choose to be in this moment.  You are honorable!  Move forward knowing that you are in control of your thoughts and security can easily replace self-doubt. You are secure! Move forward with faith knowing that you are adequately prepared to face any obstacle head on.  You are courageous!

If this post has added value to your life, share it, inbox me, or leave a comment below.    

Living Takes Courage

When you wake up in the morning, do you have a pep in your step or do you drag yourself out of bed?  Do you look forward to your day or are you bummed out about what lies ahead?  Do you have goals and aspirations that you are actively pursuing or have you placed them all on the back burner?  Where do you see yourself a year from now?  Are you living or merely existing? 

To live is to experience life's every unexpected turn while embracing the love, pain, challenges, joy, sorrow, and all of life's emotions. Being emotionally connected is a good indicator that you are living.  Life can be emotionally toiling yet equally as enjoyable and fulfilling.  It takes great courage to truly live life.  This courage preceded hope.  The hope precedes dreams.  The dreams precede goals.  The goals precede actions.  The action precedes accomplishments.  Accomplishments preceded purpose and fulfillment.  As life goes by, it is important for you to make a conscious decision whether you will live or merely exist.   

If you have become numb to life, consider the following:

1.  There are blessings in everything you do.  The ability to read this blog is a blessing.  Look for the blessings in every situation. 

2.  Life lessons are essential to your growth.  While life lessons can be painful, you are forced to grow in preparation for the next challenge.

3. Life is an adventure.  While you may not know what to expect, you can mentally prepare for the unexpected.  Allow yourself room for fluid thoughts and endless possibilities.  Stay far from rigid thoughts, as they will only restrict you.


  

The Power of Self Reflection

Self reflection is the precursor to personal growth.  It is easy to focus on objects outside of self.  However, taking time to examine oneself is very important.  By embracing your ability to self reflect, you take a winner's position.  Through self refection, you will discover new qualities you possess or even rejuvenate dormant characteristics which may propel your life onto a more fulfilling path.  

Your reality is the sum of your life experiences and your perspective on all matters.  If you're reading this blog you are on the right path to completely identifying and acknowledging the source of your strength.  This is where self reflection falls into place.  It helps strengthen your belief system, identify areas of concern, and promote positive thought processes.

Self reflection combined with positive affirmation is the recipe for a healthy mindset.  The next time you are in a situation, tap into your strength and use self reflection as a guide, add positive affirmations to help reinforce the source of your strength, you.

The following are some suggestions of positive self talk:

1.  I am happy that I tried even though the outcome is different than I expected.
2.  I am proud of my determination.
3.  I am proud of who I am.
4.  I can identify areas for improvement and I have the power to make changes.
5.  I am very powerful, not powerless.
6.  My efforts have a purpose.
7.  I have a purpose.

The Elephant in the Room

Let's talk about the elephant in the room.  We are going to discuss the elephant because it is BIG and takes up too much space.  The elephant has managed to squeeze itself in this small room and I suspect that we are not supposed to notice it?  But we do!  The elephant is that thing preventing us from living out our God-given purposes. 

While my elephant is obstructing my view, I can't see yours.  In that respect, I assume that you can't mine.  So I'll stand here, right in front of my elephant, as you walk by and put on a smile, hoping that you don't notice the big elephant standing right behind me.  And I am under the assumption that you are doing the same.  The reality is...there is no more room for our elephants.  We are cluttered, congested, and sick and tired of being the caretaker of such heavy animals.  We cannot carry our elephants around because of its weight.

Now reread the post above and replace the word elephant with your real feelings.  Here are some suggestions: burdens, fears, anger, abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, isolation, emptiness, unhealthy relationship, insecurities, etc.

We try to ignore the elephant in the room because it is painful to acknowledge it.  But pain is the precursor to change, change the precursor to growth, growth the precursor to maturity.  Once we have arrived at maturity we are ready to live in our God-given purposes.  Some things reflect on:

• Am I ready to acknowledge the elephant in the room?
• What can I do to change my elephant into something more desirable?
• Is my elephant a part of my God-given purpose?
• Can I help others by sharing my elephant with them?
• By sharing my elephant with others, can I save someone's life?

We were not designed to carry elephants around.  It is time to let God use your elephant for His purpose. Pray about it!