Unsilent

I have spent the last 4 years of my life running and hiding from a very dark past

Hoping that my past would just disappear and I would be free at last

Free to be me no longer feeling guilt, anger, or shame   

Free to live a normal life, no longer dwelling in self-blame

Self-hate, distorted self-image, low self-esteem

Absent self-worth, no time to pursue my dreams

Because dreaming is a crime when you live in chaos

My thoughts were too foggy to even get them across

Trying to hold it together when out with others

Putting on the façade of being an unbothered mother

Truth be told, I was burdened by holding this ugly secret

A secret that damages whoever chooses to keep it

It is a secret called domestic violence

It is that dirty shameful secret that keeps victims silent

Today is the day that I choose to share my pain

No longer weighed down by guilt, anger, and shame

By the way, that secret is no longer safe with me 

Because God has given me confirmation that I am free

Free to be me, pursue my dreams, no more secrets

Free to lead a fruitful life without regrets

The moral of the story is no matter what you’re going through

Rely on God to turn all your experiences to good use 

There is an elephant in the room that we are trying to avoid

The problem is, it is so big it creates a huge void

It takes up unnecessary space and impose on our lives

Even if it doesn’t affect you directly, it affects husbands and wives

Children, families, and friends everywhere

Are broken apart and drowning in their own tears

Despite their cries, others turn a blind eye

Pretending not to see the elephant, why?

Why does society pretend to be perfect? Yet it is very clear

Domestic violence is real and it will not just disappear

If we continue to ignore it it will only get worst

It has taken mothers, fathers, children, leaving families disturbed

But this is one woman who is taking a stand

Facing the elephant head on, I chose to take a stand. 

Standing up for those who are too afraid to speak

Taking a stand for those whose minds are too weak

Taking a stand for all who have experienced loss to domestic violence

Because the elephant will move, once I break my silence

So are you going to continue to sit there in bondage and lies?

Or are you going to fess up and give the elephant a surprise?

Are you ready to take back your homes, churches, and schools?

Then stand up and say NO to all forms of abuse.

It is time to identify love from a healthy standpoint with healthy eyes

Time to reinforce boundaries and create healthy family ties.

I'M DONE

I have decided today is the day that I am going to sever some lifelong relationships.  This is the type of decision that usually weighs heavy on my heart.  But, this time around, I feel peaceful.  I’m at peace with ending these relationships because I am at a place of being “DONE.” Done with the lies, mediocrity, limitations, deceit, and heavy burdens these relationships have placed on me. 

Have you ever had to leave a situation that no longer serves you, but instead suck the life out of you?  If you have, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. You see, this post is not about being mean or scandalous but instead being transparent; sharing some deep thoughts and feelings that most people would be afraid to share.  But as I said earlier, I AM DONE…I AM DONE…I AM DONE!

Therefore, shame, self-doubt, and fear, consider this your eviction notice.  You have no place in my life.  There is no room for you here anymore.  I am reclaiming the space you once occupied and I am replacing you with honor, security, and courage.  You have crippled me for long enough and I am moving on without you. 

Every time you thought you had me face down, I was simply consulting with my newfound friends.  Honor told me that I am not my past nor my future, I am my present.  There is nothing to be ashamed of.  Goodbye shame!

Security told me that self-doubt is merely a manipulative, dishonest thought pattern buried in my subconscious mind.  For this reason, I have worked hard to dig you out of the crevices of my subconscious and I’m giving you the boot too.

As for fear, you have been with me since I was a little girl.  You were introduced to me by people that I thought I could trust.  For this reason, I held on to you tightly and allowed you to introduce me to your friends, shame and self-doubt. These are the things you would tell me:

• “You will never be…”
• “You are going to fail…”
• “You’ll never make it…”
• “What if…?”

Quite frankly, I am sick and tired of you weighing me down.  As a matter of fact, you get the middle finger and a swift kick in your behind.  I AM THROUGH WITH YOU!

Today is the day I choose to reclaim my life from the shame, self-doubt, and fear I once felt.  I am replacing them with honor, security, and courage.  I will no longer allow self-limiting beliefs guide my life.  Through self-reflection, soul searching, and walking in faith, I have discovered that the real me is self-defined.  Negative belief systems have no home here.  In defining myself, I am an honorable, secure, and courageous woman.  I feel much better now that I have faced those demons head on. I feel relieved!  Today, I am an even better version of me.  Mission Accomplished!

Today is the day you should consider evicting negativity from your life.  Reclaim yourself and move forward in faith, knowing that you are not your past or even your future.  You are who you choose to be in this moment.  You are honorable!  Move forward knowing that you are in control of your thoughts and security can easily replace self-doubt. You are secure! Move forward with faith knowing that you are adequately prepared to face any obstacle head on.  You are courageous!

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