I find myself searching for someone that will never be found. I am looking for someone who is ambitious, happy, stable, loving, kind, a believer and follower of God. Someone to compliment my rollercoaster life. Someone to break bread with. You know, a ride or die. Someone with focus and goals. This person has to fit MY ideal image in all of these areas. This person has to understand all of the intricacies that make me who I am.
I have searched from coast to coast, looking for my ideal person. While on the road I found an abuser, a recluse, and an imposter. While it is easy to give these individuals a title and be judgmental of who they are, the truth is the person with the real issues is me. The truth is by searching I am going outside of myself to find something that I have made up in my mind to be ideal. On that note, I am attracting just the opposite of what I am looking for. Ambitious becomes lazy, happy becomes sad, stable becomes chaotic, loving becomes jealousy, kind becomes selfish, and believer becomes nonbeliever. How on earth can this person compliment my rollercoaster life much less break bread with me? Forget about ride or die that becomes run for your life girl. That is just what I have been doing, running for my life.
I am now tired of searching, feeling disappointed, disconnected, and running for my life. I am now forced to face my demons head on. What I have found is my truth. The truth is:
- People are not projects that require repair or even someone’s opinion of who they are.
- Either you accept someone for who they are or leave them alone.
- Each person has their own self work to do. Be respectful of their process.
